心が重い Heavy-Heart Days

It's wickedly cold outside (and inside!), and the holidays are over. Yep, time for post-holiday blues as "real" life comes rushing back! This week has been busy dealing with difficult and/or uncomfortable family business, on top of regular back-to-work/school and all of that. This has led me to think even more about communication.

Language is one tool for humans to communicate with one another, but most definitely not the only one. Body language, tone of voice, etc. add so many layers to the words we speak. Perhaps the most important element of all, though, is a willingness to hear, understand, and feel the heart of the person you are communicating with. Lack of willingness, whether from disinterest in the other party, being too tired/stressed because of all the daily things we all must deal with, or other reasons, seems to be the biggest barrier to meaningful communication.

Today, I had a meeting with my sister-in-law and her relatives to straighten out a misunderstanding. Though there were undoubtedly hurt feelings/worries on both sides, everyone was willing to talk with an open mind, and an accord was reached. That was/is very satisfactory.

It brings me to my next worry, however, the strength and expectations related to family ties. The idea of connection between families, and subsequent obligations as well, is much stronger here than what I grew up with. My spouse's family probably could be defined as dysfunctional, and gradually the requests from relatives for the care of the specific family members is coming to rest on my shoulders. EEK! I don't mean that in a cold-hearted way, however, some things it is not my place to deal with (at least, not according to my background...) and some of it I just can't deal with. Still trying to straighten this all out in my head...and feel a few more hairs turning white in shocked reaction. This situation (family responsibilites/care) would be less of a problem if everyone would actually talk with each other about feelings, expectations and needs...sadly, that just won't happen.

Well, not such an uplifting blog entry, but I feel a little better. My goal for now...Talk, smile, share some quality time with someone special today...keep what lines of communication open I can, whenever I can. How about you?